My Wife
“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” Proverbs 18.22 As I sit here at my laptop, I am thinking back to this exact date (July 11) fifty years ago. Both Nancy and I were doing our bit to prepare for our wedding the next day. Of course, the prep by the groom in no way compares to the prep by the bride.
Since her family owned a restaurant (Shealy’s BBQ House) much of the prep for the reception was done in house and by her family. She had her mom and aunts preparing finger foods, dipping watermelon balls and decorating for the grand occasion that was purported to be one of the grandest occasions in her home town of Leesville, SC (population 1900).
We were both quite young (I had just turned 19 and she had just turned 18) – and, some quipped that we would be “lucky” to make it together for six months. Well, here we are on the eve of our 50th anniversary more in love than when we first begun. Oh, it’s not a gushy, mushy type of love – but one that has grown and become stronger over the years.
We are sometimes asked, “What’s the secret to a happy marriage?” Sometimes I answer in jest suggesting that we are both just stubborn enough that we were going to prove the 6-monthers wrong by sticking it out. In truth, the answer is to put God first. Sometimes we have given up family reunions because they were on Sundays – we put God first by, well, putting Him first. We have sometimes missed out on a Sunday night showing of “The Wizard of Oz” because we put God first.
I’ve also encouraged young couples not to “sweat the small stuff.” In the grand theme of things it really doesn’t’ matter which end of the toothpaste tube you squeeze – or even if you squeeze it in the middle. It will all come out eventually. And, it really doesn’t matter how you hang the roll of toilet paper. One day it will all be used whether it’s dispensed from the top or from the bottom. It will all be used and you’ll be left with a misused “orange sherbet pushup tube” to toss in the trash.
God has called you men to live with your wife according to knowledge. Believe it or not, the man who says he just doesn’t understand women is also void of accomplishing God’s command. (I Peter 3.7) Many marital situations may be avoided if the husband would recognize that having found a wife, he has been granted one of Gods’ special blessings. (favour = “pleasure, fulfilled desire” {ahlb})
Husbands learn more about ourselves by learning to love our wives than we could possibly learn through seminars and counseling. Fathers learn more about their weaknesses and shortcomings by learning how to rear their children “in the way he should go,” (Proverbs 22.6) than they ever would through reading self-help books.
Through our wives’ eyes, we learn about the relationship between Christ and His church. We learn how to worship and how to approach a thrice-holy God. So then, the man who has found a wife obtains favor (pleasure, completeness, fulfilled desire); however, a man who has found a wife who is a follower of Christ will be blessed with greater blessing than he can imagine.
I am thankful that God led me to my wife. I am thankful that her father gave permission and my parents gave us their blessing. I am thankful that when I asked her, she said: “Yes.” I am thankful that the doubters were wrong, and that I have been blessed beyond measure. Tomorrow, we celebrate 50 years of learning about each other through marriage and rejoicing in God’s selection. Copyright © 2025 Dr. John H. Hill, All rights reserved.
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